I have had a hard time recently. Not only because my research advisor suddenly left school. I had a trouble to write something related to my research. During the course work, I did not really need write my own paper. But now I have to, and it is so hard and even fearsome. What is wrong with me?
I took some time to consider this matter. My analysis is that I fear too much to be wrong, and this fear discourages me to build my own idea. Whenever I start writing, I worry too much about others' responses and critiques in advance. What a coward I am! I'd like to blame my education which I had in Korea. I was always trained to pick a right answer! The right answer was already determined by teachers. One cannot pick the pre-determined right answer was regarded as inferior and useless. I have had raised my inner fear to be wrong in this environment.
When I moved on to higher education, my confusion started: which is wrong and which is right. Yes, it is hard to pinpoint as we learn more. In particular, in social science like economics, politics and sociology. I know that, but it is never easy to overcome my inner fear. I hope for me to be dare enough to be wrong. My paper may be wrong. But it does not mean that my paper have no reason to be published, as every creature has reason to exist in the ecosystem. Even the notorious Herpes virus is known to have some benefits for humans' immune system. I have to speak and write my idea, whether it is right or wrong. There must be some benefits for others and for myself.
*I thought that it was perfect start for my research related posts.